Anxiety is still very much a misunderstood concept that takes a huge toll on the affected person and their near and dear ones. The rampant misinformation and lack of understanding about anxiety have crippled many relationships, especially marriages where the foundation has to be mutual understanding and support.
Highlighting the importance of effectively managing spousal anxiety, the American Psychological Association published a study that informed that when couples avoid managing anxiety-related rifts in their marriage, it inadvertently increases the distress that both spouses suffer on a daily basis.
Impact Of Anxiety On A Marriage
To help couples deal with spousal anxiety, the team of OnlyMyHealth spoke to Dr Sayantani Mukherjee, Consultant, Psychiatry, Manipal Hospitals, Pune. “If one of the spouses suffers from anxiety, it can cause burnout in the other spouse, because anxiety manifests in terms of mood fluctuations, irritability, lethargy, and many more detrimental symptoms. So it is important to maintain a supportive yet firm approach,” she elucidated.
However, before we dive into specific strategies, it's essential to understand anxiety better. Anxiety is more than just occasional worry. It's a persistent feeling of fear or apprehension that can manifest in various physical and emotional symptoms. These may include restlessness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and even panic attacks. “When your spouse experiences anxiety, it's crucial to approach the situation with empathy and knowledge,” added Dr Mukherjee.
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The first step in addressing your spouse's anxiety is recognising how it's affecting your marriage. Ignoring these signs can further strain your marriage, so it's vital to address them head-on:
- Communication Challenges: Anxiety can hinder effective communication, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts. Your spouse may be in a habit of assessing real-life situations through their fear-tinted glasses, as anxiety often puts a person in a constant state of agitation and paranoia.
- Withdrawal: Your spouse might withdraw from social activities and even intimacy, for the fear of doing something wrong, or facing something that could potentially cause them distress.
- Excessive Worry: Anxiety can cause your spouse to worry excessively about everyday matters. They may perceive the slightest misstep on your end as your relationship hurtling down the crap chute.
- Changes in Behaviour: You may notice changes in sleep patterns, eating habits, or mood swings, which can affect how your anxiety-ridden spouse is able to hold up their end of the relationship.
How To Save Your Marriage If Your Partner Suffers From Anxiety?
Highlighting the reasons why you should take your spouse’s anxiety seriously, and not just a personality issue on their behalf, Dr Mukherjee shared, “More than the breakdown of your marriage, the biggest concern is that you are at risk of developing depression due to mismanagement and constant failure to help your partner deal with their anxiety. Additionally, a failure to understand your partner’s poor mental health can make you perceive them as a person who has a habit of creating such conflicts, and make you feel dejected or taken for granted.”
She advised that one of the most important steps you can take to save your marriage is to encourage your spouse to seek professional help. “Therapy or counselling can provide a safe space to address anxiety-related issues and develop coping strategies. Consider attending therapy sessions together as a couple, this can improve your understanding of each other and strengthen your bond. Through therapy, you can understand which behaviours of your partner are due to anxiety, and not to take their outbursts or feelings of paranoia personally.”
Also Read: Study: Meditation As Effective As Medication To Manage Anxiety
Since therapy is a long process and takes time to help you with mental health challenges, here are some ways you can practice to help your spouse:
- Active Listening: Pay close attention to your spouse when they want to talk. Avoid interrupting them when they are expressing their thoughts and learn to validate their feelings.
- Offer Reassurance: Remind them that you're there for them and that you love and support them no matter what. Do not make them feel alone on this harrowing journey of dealing with anxiety.
- Educate Yourself: Learn more about anxiety to better understand what your spouse is going through, and build a relatability factor where your spouse doesn't have to bear the burden of simplifying their complicated emotions all the time.
- Encourage Self-Care: Promote self-care activities such as exercise, mindfulness, or meditation. It would be additionally beneficial if you were to practice these exercises with your spouse.
- Manage Your Family Equations: In Indian societies particularly, relatives often feel it's their right to know and comment about each aspect of their family members. This can put unnecessary pressure on your already burdened spouse. So talk to your relatives to discourage them from intervening and judging your marriage conflicts, and your partner’s mental condition.
Dealing with a spouse's anxiety can be challenging, but it's not insurmountable. Remember that progress may be slow, and setbacks can happen. Be patient with your spouse and with the process of helping them and saving your marriage. It may take time to find the right treatment and coping strategies, but with persistence and support, your marriage can overcome the challenges of anxiety. All you need to do is identify if your partner is willing to try their best to save your relationship. Keep in mind that everything beyond that may not be so much in their control. By seeking professional help, being a supportive partner, practising self-care, encouraging healthy coping mechanisms, and maintaining open communication, you can navigate this difficult situation together. Remember that your marriage can emerge from this stronger and more resilient than ever before.
